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I love watching my three-and-a-half year-old daughter meet and play with other kids.
A’esha is sensitive, yet still gregarious little girl who’s also a bit shy. In most instances, she quickly overcomes her tentative tendencies for the thrill of play. More than anything, she loves to interact with other kids. And it’s great to watch her do so.
Usually, A’esha watches and carefully chooses the kids she wants to play with. Her careful choices often lead her to kids that are kind, gentle and who want to enjoy playing with her. And after the introductions are out of the way, she just runs off and enjoys herself with her new friend.
Of course, it’s not always easy for her. Like the rest of us, she’s learning what it’s like to interact with different kinds of people - some troubled and not very nice. But she approaches those interactions with grace and curiosity rather than judgment. She doesn’t shun mean kids. She just chooses not to play with them. And later, she’ll ask mom and I about the kids that say and do mean things. No judgment, just learning.
A’esha has one close friend who is 15 months older. They play perfectly together. No struggles. No issues. No push-pull. They each take turns letting the other lead. They share toys. They dress-up together like fairies or mermaids and enter each other’s world of imagination. It’s quite remarkable to watch.
I’ve learned so much from watching my daughter with other kids. Her ease and acceptance has taught me a great deal about building relationships around my business. And I try to carry some of these traits into my business relationships. Things like:
- Be nice: Mainly, there’s just few reasons not to be.
- Be honest: You’ll both know something’s off if you’re not.
- Be open: Sometimes people will surprise you with what they have to teach you.
- Be creative: There really is more than one way.
- Be caring: Your clients will feel it when they know you sincerely care about their needs.
- Be real: Remember, along with being a professional, you’re also a person.
- Be giving: There’s little reason to hold back from sharing what you know - it will pay in the end.
- Be fun: Likely, you’re in business because you love what you do - share and show it.
- Be consumed: Get lost in ‘the play’ of your working with people. Then come back when your time with them is done.
- Be humble: If you’re truly great at what you do, it never needs to be said.
- Be kind: Even with people who are not kind to you.
- Be excited: Little is more valuable then letting your passion flow.
And…be memorable. Striving to live these twelve qualities has led me to relationships - business and personal - that are beyond any of my expectations. I’m just grateful that I get to learn them from such as lovely teacher.
UPDATE: Michele added a quality in her comments on my blog and I couldn’t leave it off:
- “Be discerning: If a relationship (business or otherwise) generates negative energy or regresses from a relationship to a one-way street, perhaps it’s time to drop that relationship and re-focus your energy on more positive pursuits.”
I know this list is only a beginning. I’d love to hear what you’ve learned about relationships from watching kids?
Hi, I’m Dawud Miracle. Professionally, I’m a blog and marketing consultant, business coach, educator and web developer who helps people use their websites to grow their business. I’m also a devoted husband and father to two, soon to be three, children. Please let me know if I can help you in any way.
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That is a very nice post. I know I’ve learned a lot of things from my son.
Great first post Dawud! We really can learn a lot from our kids.
Being Creative and having fun are the 2 of the most activities that every kid has.
Great post.
Hi Dawud,
When my little sister was growing up I learned not to take things so seriously. It was such a breath of fresh air in her pre-teen years.
Great guest post by the way.
Isn’t it amazing that we “are” these things when we are little, then we “learn” to not be that way as we grow older? And we wonder why society is backwards! This is a great inspirational article that should be in the hearts and minds of everyone all over the world. A great antidote for war and other issues we face daily. GREAT post!!
Kids are so raw, so honest, so natural…I’ve found there’s just so much to learn from them. I guess it just goes to show me that anyone can be a teacher.
My kids have taught me about the importance of being resilient, the importance of patience (they have tested my limits from time to time) and they have helped me laugh more at myself and them! They are wonderful. My eldest son is really helping me hone my negotiation skills.
Hi..
That’s a great post!
I continue to learn from my daughter as well, and it’s a steep learning curve now that she’s 11.5!
the thing I’ve learned most from her is
Be Humble.
We can never assume we know more, are better than or more special than anyone else.
and another thing:
Stay in Beginner’s Mind
That might be up there with “be open” but I find that it’s more connected to being humble…not being scared of what I don’t know and being aware of what I don’t know…such a juicy place!
My kids have taught me that it’s life experiences that matter more than a huge collection of toys.
If you’ve ever had a kid tell you s/he’s bored, then you know what I mean.
My kids have rooms full of toys, but they get bored. Why? Because what they want is to hang out with their parents.
They want memories, they want encouragement, they want to know they’re loved.
Also, trying to fix what’s “wrong” with a kid never works as good as BUILDING THEIR STRENGTHS!
Obviously, I liked your post, Dawud!
My kids have taught me to have no fear and to pursue dreams without concern for failure.
Kids try new things all the time and they never stop to say but what if I fail. As adults we become consumed with the possibility of failure to the extent we often completely refuse to act. Imagine what we would all accomplish if we no longer feared failure.
This is great — and a great list.
I know I’ve learned tons from my kids (girls, 7 and 2), and it has made me such a better person than I ever was.
Your daughter sounds a bit like mine. It is truly amazing to watch kids interact in settings like playgrounds (occasionally it is also disturbing and heartbreaking).
What I am currently learning from my child is that the lessons that we must teach our children at age four are the lessons they will carry to adulthood. I often feel it is such an awesome responsibility that I don’t know that I up to. Yet somehow learning comes so much easier and every day is really a fresh start.
I have also re-discovered the joy of summer evening and “please, just one more swing.”
Nathan, I think you made a great point when you said:
It seems many of us adults could learn how much more our life experiences and personal growth matter than the toys we collect and play with.
I’ve learned to trust my son. To let it be ok if he doesn’t want to play with anyone right then. That solitude is just as important as socializing.
I am now a grandma, and can appreciate the kids more than I could my own. Part of this was the need to provide for them took precendent over fun. Shelter, food & clothing are necessary,
some things are not. Please remember this everyone.
Truthfully, it’s been an amazing joy - and priviledge - learning from both my kids. And we’re just getting started.